Writing

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To me, writing prose is a 4-step process. The first two stages are so thrilling that I still can’t believe such a thing really exists. Coming up with the idea for a story and actually writing it, creating worlds and characters out of nothing are some of the best things I experimented. When a story is outlined, when I have its beginning, climax and ending, it draws me in completely. I don’t want to leave the universe until it’s finished. Don’t get me wrong, my worlds are dark and scary. But they are also filled with magic and mystery. No matter how dark a world is and no matter what horrors it hides, I love being part of it, shaping it, dreaming it at night. 

 Actually writing the story is a whole other thing. When I sit down in front of my computer, something otherworldly takes place. I phase out. My fingers type the words, I know where the scenes end, but I don’t get there consciously. The characters talk. I just register what they say. The plot unfolds. I just show what happens. The story, the epic is bigger than me. It guides me. And I lose myself in it, in the darkness and deepness of the world I write.

After the story is written comes the first hard part. I let time pass by, then, I rewrite. I change the plot; I change the characters. And I cut into the flesh of my sentences. Over and over again, until my eyes grow weary and I feel sick. I do that until I feel that the story is whole, round and as good as I can write it. Some two-thirds of my story survive. In the end, I always feel that I have mangled my own creation. But, somehow, it comes out better than before.

The fourth stage is the most painful. For days on end, I browse literary magazines sites to find one that fit my writing. And I submit. Most magazines don’t accept simultaneous submissions. I play by the rules, with all the tears and blood which writing draws out of me (that‘s NOT a metaphor). It usually takes 3 months for a magazine to reject you. After I receive the rejection letter, I start again.

      It’s painful, writing. I’ve gotten lots of rejections and a half of an acceptance letter so far (the story passed one editor, now it’s in the row for the senior editor). But for that thrill of shaping a world out of thin air, paper and ink and for that one reader who is submerged by your words, it’s all worth it.

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